I Hate Black Eyed Peas

(Previously titled “I Hate BEP” in 2009) (2015 Sanitation Edit)

BEP1

In my apparently continuing series on shitty pop, I hate the Black Eyed Peas (or BEP from this point forward). You may know BEP for such excrutiating chart topping hits as Don’t Phunk with My Heart, My Disgusting Humps and the just awful I Gotta Feeling with David Guetta. Like an awful trance DJ, all of these individual and group acts seem to forever put out songs that sound exactly the same.

“Oh hey did you hear the awesome new BEP song?”. Oh you mean that one that has exactly the same tempo and composition as the other three? I think the audio waves entered my ear canal but I don’t think I actually interpreted them as anything other than a colour of blood red, since all of a sudden I was deafened and swinging knives around at a blinding rate.

BEP2

As a straight male I appreciate and admire the female form, but just because she’s another kinda-boring star on a music video doesn’t mean I’m going to sit there and go “holy shit how hot is she!”, like a certain unnamed real estate agent customer service rep I know.

I wonder what the ‘perfect’ pop band would be or who it would contain. Just constantly churning out generic, bland and annoying chart hits for stupid people. Why don’t we take say: Pink, Fergie, Gwen Stefani, Britney Spears, and comedy option Celine Dion (who we can all agree, is Canada’s finest export) and just make an awful pop mega group. Henceforth known as “Generisis” – the awful pop mega group.

At least you wouldn’t have to avoid five separate artists since they are conveniently packaged under one label.

In alot of ways the BEP are even more awful than Pink, and that’s pretty hard to do. Just more synthesised, ghost-written, all-advertising-no-substance bullshit to fill two-and-a-half minutes on B105. Taste in music is clearly subjective, but I can’t see how all of this bland pop music doesn’t piss everyone else off as much as I.

I just get sick of listening to the same shit over and over again.

BEP3

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave your talent at the door.”

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “I Hate Black Eyed Peas

  1. Hey Sam, absolutely agree with u! Bep is totally shit and pisses me off when they continue to play it constantly on the radio. I reckon u should rage against b105 and nova for playing the same old shitty music all of the time.

    Like

  2. If your gonna start hating on radio stations then as much as i love triple M i give permission to hate on them as well for folding from their rock image (fantastic) to their generic high percentage pop

    Like

    1. Triple m is the best station out there at the moment!! It would be better to hate on the other stations not only for there 10 or so songs that they have on a loop to play throughout the day but also beecause of the stupid publicity stunts they always pull. The only people I can stand on radio at the moment are hamish and andy because they make me laugh at their childish ways.

      Like

  3. Kim Kardashian is that lawyer’s daughter, the one that got OJ off. The chick from Pussycat Dolls is Nicole Scherzinger (don’t look at me like that, I googled it). Kim Kardashian’s as big a publicity whore as Paris Hilton, with about 23 times the ass.

    Like

  4. lol is that actual urine on her pants??!

    There is so much bad music on radio stations these days I barely listen to the radio at all (that’s when they’re even playing “music”). Big Girls Don’t Cry (but sometimes wet themselves on stage) has to be one of most hated songs ever.. there’s a great Merrick and rosso take on it though.

    And I disagree Sam, Canadian Club is Canada’s finest export 🙂

    Like

  5. Oh whoops that’s a pretty serious factual error I made with that Kim Kardashian stuff. I might edit that. Thanks haha.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s