(2015 Sanitation Edit – 10/10, would wear sunglasses in the dark again. This was the first of many exaggerated tales.)
Yes that’s right. In the age of some horrible 80’s fashion resurgence, I’m bringing back sunglasses in the dark. And you know why? Because why the hell not! Like big hair and fluros, this shit needs – no – deserves to be a fashion trend again. I’m in the midst of a multi-year campaign to bring them back. In the beginning, around late 2007, I would wear them discreetly to subliminally get the question back into peoples heads – “Why is that debonare and highly attractive gentlemen being so daft wearing sunglasses in the dark? Hmmm…”.
I didn’t start drawing attention to it for a while, but people started getting curious. I’d get asked, “what are you doing with sunnies on inside?”, or “Look at this idiot”, but I got through it. Those six long weeks were the hardest in my life, but I knew that if I wanted this cunning plan to succeed, I’d have to persevere.
And persevere I did. Day and night, I had those sunglasses on. Walking down a dark alleyway with no moon light? You better believe I had those sunglasses on, because I was committed. I made it my mission to get sunglasses at night back into the forefront of fashion.
Finally my hardwork is paying off worldwide.
Even a whole year in, the ridicule continued, but I didn’t let it get me down. Fashion trends are so important in day-to-day life that to back out would have been like suicide. Fashion trends and fads are serious business for an early 20s person. My hard work over an entire year would have gone to waste and my reputation with people trusting me to be on the forefront of fashion, shot with it. I had to keep going.
More than eighteen months on I finally started to see the results of my hard work. Sure enough the ridicule stopped and I hit a bit of a plateau. People stopped drawing attention to it, and I thought they had stopped noticing. For a short while I even thought I’d failed. How wrong I was.
The reason people stopped drawing attention is because others had started doing it! Soon they were everywhere! Nightclubs, festivals, shopping centers, pubs, even just walking around at night! People had started wearing sunglasses again!
Unfortunately, with all success comes a bit of failure. Mine being that no one acknowledges that I brought it back. But I’m okay with that. I sit with quiet discontent everytime I see someone wearing sunglasses in an inappropriate lighting situation, because deep down I know that it was me. My two years of hard work brought it back!
And with my mission complete, I’ve joined the elite of people who thought to try something done before different. There will be no accolades or statues in major cities in my honour, but I don’t care. I BROUGHT IT BACK! And I couldn’t be happier.
Life’s hard on the forefront of fashion.