I Hate Queensland

(2016 Sanitation Edit, and Comment: Pretty ranty, but prices have only continued to rise since then.)

Ahhhh… Queensland. Beautiful one day, rainy and unlivable the next. What’s not to enjoy? Regional Queensland, anywhere past the Sunshine Coast and anywhere further south of the Gold Coast that’s what.

Actually that’s a lie. None of those places are enjoyable.

It’s not that the place itself isn’t beautiful at times, it’s just that we’re surrounded by so much incompetence that it pretty much overrides all the positives. Feel like a trip to the beach for the day? Fantastic let’s just jump in the car and be on our way! So far your trips already cost x-amount of dollars in car registration, however much for our recently unsubsidised petrol and upwards of several toll roads depending on where you’re coming from.

If only people knew what they were getting themselves into apart from what the glossy brochures tell them.

Public transport to the coast? If you want to get there and back today that’s not really an option. Tourist? Soon you won’t even be able to buy the 30% higher cost paper tickets! What an excellent idea!

It’s been a bit rainy so there’s some water on the road too – immediately your trip is going to take 15 minutes longer. No reason, just a damp road is all. People with illegal treads being cautious, you know the drill. Or maybe it’s just the fact NO ONE IN THIS DAMN STATE CAN DRIVE IN EVEN SLIGHTLY WET WEATHER. Then again the quality of roads in alot of areas leaves much to be desired. I guess they’ll just add that fix onto the rego too. Oh and don’t speed, because speeding fines constantly go up under the guise of “saving lives” too.

What if you feel like a holiday for a week? God forbid you leave anything on at home, lest there’s another power tariff increase and you’re too far away from home to get back to turn everything off. Oh and get some washers for those leaky taps because every drop costs about 5c now.

Soon after arriving in Queensland, you’ll be wishing you didn’t have to drive everywhere.

So here we are. Trying to do simple things in our off time, only to have it all involve significant expenditure somewhere along the line. In both money and time. In fact, just remember that your glorious trip to the coast could be a whole hour longer if farmers didn’t complain all the time about the prospect of Daylight Savings. It’s not like the damn cows are going to get up an hour earlier. Are people too stupid to just… push their schedule an hour back? Yes.

Car expenses are really high in Queensland simply because the State Government knows the public transport system is mostly rubbish, save for a few areas, and understandably everyone has a car. When they quickly found themselves running out of cash somewhere around late 2008 and the GFC, who was going to provide the quickest cash grab? Motorists! Woohoo! All this talk about saving lives with completely unmarked speed cameras and ‘increased police presence’ right around the time of increased penalty unit costs is utter bullshit and designed to make the broke State Government money faster than flat-out in your whip (US slang for a Mercedes Benz for those of you playing at home.)

Peekaboo, I see you covert speed camera!

Public transport got more expensive when the whole Oyster Card rip off thing was implemented (GoCards use pretty much exactly the same system as Oyster Cards in London. Their system is much much better however). It was then further increased if you wanted to buy a paper ticket to try and force you onto the new system. The only people that change messes with is tourists and the elderly really. Meanwhile we still have half hourly trains and even longer wait times for busses in few areas.

Water costs went up because of terrible investment in infrastructure over a long period of time. All of a sudden we had a drought and thought “there’s no water left!” as if the finite nature of water were some surprise. As a knee jerk reaction the government built some nice new pipelines and an extremely expensive and controversial “effluent processing plant” who’s output they are currently piping straight into the Brisbane River because, guess what? The dams are full again. Amazing.

Power? Well, those increases are also due to years of profit making and years of under-investment in infrastructure. Then the government owned Sequeb was privatised and that profit making strategy pretty much continued unabated.

Daylight Savings won’t happen because the State Government is filled with people who like to pander to specific interest groups, agenda’s and business interests of their own. Once a new generation comes in, Queensland will finally stop being the red headed stepchild of the East Coast of Australia and join the 21st century with Daylight Savings Time over summer. It would just make sense! I imagine being on the border of New South Wales and Queensland trying to run a business is really damn irritating.

Rantings about poor government decisions and incompetent public servants aside – there’s also a massive contingent of XXXX Gold drinking, stubby shorts, corked hat, wife beater wearing bogans that are really just there to lower everyone’s enjoyment quite considerably. Uneducated on important things like Daylight Savings and selling off state assets as a permanent solution to a temporary problem, you’ll often find them voting for the worst candidates in your local elections. They are part of the reason we’re in this mess right now.

Extremely high living costs for such a sparsely populated city comparatively, incompetent decision makers in Government, XXXX Gold drinking bogans and no Daylight Savings sure makes Queensland a wonderful place to live and work.

Oh well, at least we don’t live in Adelaide.


14 thoughts on “I Hate Queensland

  1. So Your not really having your weekly bitch fit at the state but at Politicians, major corporations and general stupid people…

    Also while daylight savings would bring us into line with other states it only favours those that sit in air conditioned offices all day. The workers that are actually out in our fucking hot sun and summers would be forced to work through even worse temperatures which in turn would raise the amounts of cancers, and sun related illnesses raising the cost of healthcare even more.


    1. With Daylight saving you actually start earlier and knock off earlier. Outdoor workers spend less time in hot sun than without it. Everyone else wastes half the day sleeping. Queensland is not the Sunshine State. It rains half the time and being further North hours of sunlight tend to be less. NSW has longer days and daylight saving. Qld NEEDS daylight saving.


  2. yet you persist in living here! i spose it’s because you’re out there leading the way in addressing these issues right? haha you just need to go to the beach more…

    PS Adelaide isn’t that bad either.


  3. OMG I am still chuckling at this posting half an hour after reading it.

    Can I say from the get-go that I like Brisbane – hate the Gold Coast with unimagineable passion – and hate drongo Queenslanders from the country just short of the GCoaster.

    The redheaded step child of the East coast. Absolutely pricesless. I found this article when I googled ‘I hate Queensland’ but I was trying to find the Gold Coast which is takes Queensland alcoholism, tackiness, unintelligence and poverty trap to a whole different level.

    Having come to Queensland with great hopes and dreams for a better life for my children (I thought it would be nice Aussie families with good old aussie values … WRONG ! They’re all alco’s who have been dragged up as kids and don’t even know where their kids are half the time in a state with the highest paedophile rate per capita in Australia !)

    Did I mention I have learned not to dress ‘too nicely’ or for that matter use a word longer than 4 letters otherwise it confuses them ? I have been told I am ‘posh’ because I used the word ‘vigilant’. O.M.G.

    I have decided 2 years on we are are more disadvantaged than I could have imagined by being in this backward place and I need to (begrudgingly as I defended Qld so much when all my friends and family tried to convince me not to come here ) get them back to a city like Melbourne which has decent education, infrastructure, good public transport and people that are not covered in tattoos with ‘spacers’ in their nasal cartilage. Oh, and JOBS and a FUTURE !


    1. Couldn’t have said that better myself, this state is 20-30 years behind the rest of the world! 3.5 years on the sunny coast is enough for me. There is no social intelligence here, no opportunities to further my career, it’s a great place to come and die and watch the footy on tv that’s it!


  4. Whole country is a pathetic joke that’s not at all funny, especially qld, especially Brisbane – for all of the reasons you stated plus far too many more to list – was dragged here from europe as a toddler against my will and been plotting my escape for years – trouble is now I have ties to the stupid f***ed up place


    1. Sorry for the grammar mistakes, writing/venting on a phone at 630am before my morning coffee is not a good idea. Especially when worked up. Unfortunately, I cannot go back in and fix it up.


  5. I was dragged up here too when I was five and a half from Bondi where we lived in a terrace house which is now worth almost 2 million dollars. Admittedly that was 1978, but it was Bondi after all. The first twelve months I was torn apart by mosquitoes I recall. I have hated Queensland ever since basically. It is so far behind the rest of the Eastern seaboard it isnʻt funny. And the heat. Bloody horrible is all I can say.


  6. Hmmm, me too. Despite Queensland the dull wit state. No future. If you plan together come here from interstate, don’t you like to make mistakes again in the bogan state?


  7. Don’t worry I hate the place too, it is hot, full of dumbwits and it really is backwards. On top we got hit by a cyclone and the recovery has been so slow. We can’t even change energy provider in regional Queensland that is how backwards it is. I can’t wait to leave. I am going to Victoria.


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